


Mistake

by aeternamente



Series: Time and Space [6]
Category: Nothing Much to Do
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-11
Updated: 2014-09-11
Packaged: 2018-02-16 23:51:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2289266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aeternamente/pseuds/aeternamente
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pedro opened his eyes. Balthazar’s eyes were still screwed tightly shut, his jaw clenched, everything about him tight and tense.</p>
<p>"This was a mistake," Balthazar whispered.</p>
<p>How could a whisper feel so much like a punch in the gut?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mistake

Pedro needed this moment to last—this wordless moment that communicated something he couldn’t really say with words— _this is how I feel about you, this is what I want with you, this is what I’ve been dreaming about._  Balthazar had been absent from his world for so long that now, every point of contact—hands, lips, tongue, even the way Balthazar’s nose brushed against his cheek—felt intensely significant. It was overwhelming, and yet Pedro still needed more. Every time the kiss seemed to be drawing to a close, he leaned forward again, caught Balthazar’s lips again, prolonged and savored. He was determined to stay in the moment, determined to ignore a premonition lurking in the back of his head— _this will not end well_.

It ended, at length, and they sat, breathing heavily, resting their foreheads together. Pedro kept his eyes shut for a little longer, focusing on sliding his thumb down Balthazar’s cheek. He was becoming aware that Balthazar’s hands were balled into fists on either side of his head.

Pedro opened his eyes. Balthazar’s eyes were still screwed tightly shut, his jaw clenched, everything about him tight and tense.

"This was a mistake," Balthazar whispered.

How could a whisper feel so much like a punch in the gut?

"…a mistake?"

Balthazar stood abruptly, and Pedro lurched forward into the suddenly empty space where Balthazar had just been—Balthazar, who was now slinging his backpack over one shoulder as he walked away.

"Balthazar!" Pedro stumbled after him, and after several paces managed to catch his hand—his sleeve (Balthazar was always wearing oversized clothes, Pedro’s mind noted for no reason, and they always made him look even smaller than he was).

Balthazar turned and Pedro got a good look at his eyes—there was anger there, and sadness, and defiance.

"I love you, Pedro." He meant each of those four words in a way that radiated intensity.

"Then why was this a mistake?" Pedro lifted a hand in an attempt to caress his cheek (even though he was half afraid his fingers would be burned at the touch), but Balthazar stepped back, out of reach. Pedro’s hand fell uselessly back to his side.

"You don’t understand what it  _means_ , that you’re siding with Claudio,” Balthazar said. “If you can support him after what he did to Hero, how do I know you wouldn’t do the same thing to me?”

“ _Balthazar_ …” Pedro felt winded.

"If I cheated on you," Balthazar continued, not dropping his gaze, "or even if you just thought I did, would you humiliate me in front of everyone I care about? Would you grab me by the wrists and call me a  _fucking slut?_ ”

"Balthazar, I would never—"

“ _How do I know?_ " he shouted. Balthazar never shouted. He seemed to realize how out of character this was, because he dropped his eyes to the ground. He looked so sad and small and lost, and Pedro wanted more than anything to be able to comfort him, but for the first time, he felt like he was on the wrong side of the barrier that Balthazar put up against the outside world.

"This was a mistake," Balthazar said again, and he walked away repeating "a mistake,  _a mistake_ …”

Pedro made no move to stop him this time.


End file.
